U.S. Spy Agency Dreams of Surveillance Underwear It’s Calling “SMART ePANTS”

The federal government has shelled out at least $22 million in an effort to develop “smart” clothing that spies on the wearer and its surroundings. Similar to previous moonshot projects funded by military and intelligence agencies, the inspiration may have come from science fiction and superpowers, but the basic applications are on brand for the government: surveillance and data collection.

According to the Office of the Director of National Intelligence’s press release, “This eTextile technology could also assist personnel and first responders in dangerous, high-stress environments, such as crime scenes and arms control inspections without impeding their ability to swiftly and safely operate.”

IARPA contracts for the SMART ePANTS program have gone to five entities. As the Pentagon disclosed this month along with other contracts it routinely announces, IARPA has awarded $11.6 million and $10.6 million to defense contractors Nautilus Defense and Leidos, respectively.

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…What? I can hear countless people rightfully complaining that their tax dollars are going to this. Out of all the wearable technology I’ve seen, this has to be one of the worst ideas I’ve heard of so far.

can’t wait for it to come with ballsack print authentication

They should really try to invent a toilet bowl. I’d love to :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: into them directly, I’ll give my consent for the full quality audio recordings of my farts and I’d also encourage them to integrate the Odorama technology into it. If they can manage to invent that, I’ll be a user.