So…
I have a Amazon Alexa at my home, I only use it to controll my lights in the house and I really want/need to use the alexa for the light controlling, so does anyone of you now how I can use the smarthome alexa privacy respecting?
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What has a phone to do with the amazon alexa device?
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Not really possible. For Alexa to work, it needs to constantly listen and have an internet connection.
If you’re disabled in some way and you depend on smart home appliances, it might be worth looking into having a raspberry pi control the lights, or looking into a locally hosted smart home ecosystem.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to have the echo ecosystem ever be even remotely privacy respecting as even if it didn’t listen to you it would need to check and store your light switch status on the cloud, and it would always be possible for someone somewhere else to connect to their servers and control your lighting. Sorry 
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Just I thought, but what about an internal network without a connection to the outside?
After I set up all thing I just simply block the connection to the outside (for the alexa ofc). So it could communicate with the lights, but not with a cloud. Would this work?
You could try, but iirc that’s not usually how it works.
- you ask alexa to turn your lights off
- echo communicates with amazon servers to find your lights
- echo sends instructions to amazon servers once it’s found your light to turn it off
- light is connected to the internet and only receives this request through amazon, not through the alexa device.
Maybe I’m wrong, but this is how I think it works.
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I’m sorry, if you need the internet to turn on a lightbulb, you’re doing it wrong. There is no reason this request should ever leave your home network.
Check things like Home Assistant or Gladys.